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 DUMB
MEN JOKES
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Our Dumb men jokes will leave you rolling in laughter
at the male species! Did we miss a Dumb Men joke that maybe
you have?
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Two guys were roaring down a country road on a motorcycle when the
driver slowed up and pulled over. His leather jacket had a broken
zipper, and he told his friend, "I can't drive anymore with
the air hitting me in the chest like that." "Just put
the jacket on backwards," his friend advised. They continued
down the road but around the next bend, they lost control and wiped
out. Banta came upon the accident and ran to call the police. They
asked him, "Are they showing any signs of life?" "Well,"
Banta explained, "the driver was until I turned his head around
the right way!"
Q. What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
A. E.T. phoned home.
Q. How do men get excersize at the beach?
A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Q. What's a man's idea of helpin with the housework?
A. Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
Q. Why are all dumb blond jokes oneliners?
A. So men can understand them.
Q. How do women define a 50/50 relationship?
A. We cook/they eat; We clean/they dirty; We iron/ they wrinkle.
Q. What is the difference between government bonds and men?
A. Government bonds mature.
Q. How are men like noodles?
A. They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need
dough.
Q. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
A. When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
Q. Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
A. When the crew gets lost in space at least the women will ask
for directions.
Q. What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?
A. A hot dog and a six pack.
Q. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.
8 things you'll never hear a man
say...
8. Here honey, you use the remote.
7. You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just
too big.
6. Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta
see!
5. While I'm up, can I get you anything?
4. Sex isn't that important, sometimes I just want to be held.
3. Aww, forget Monday night football, let's watch Melrose Place.
2. Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.
1. We never talk anymore.
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