|
 SMART
ASS JOKES
|
SMART
ASS ANSWERS according to Reader's Digest:
Smart
Ass Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket
and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing
a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your
stub."
Smart
Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked
a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The
stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Smart
Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day,"
the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as
fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing,
he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Smart
Ass Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along the freeway. A sign comes up
that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it,
the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts
his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The
truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
ran out of gas."
Smart
Ass Answer #1:
A
college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury
or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it,
no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back
of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say
if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual
exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and
snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly
at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I
guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
|
