 OFFICE
HUMOR
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Our Office Humor and jokes will leave you bustin'
with laughter in your office cubical. But hey, you're supposed to
be working anyway!!! Have some office humor that you think belongs
on our list? Submit it to us and we'll
add it! |
Best Things to say
if Caught Sleeping At Your Office Desk...
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time
management course you sent me."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here
just in time!"
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and
envisioning a new paradigm."
"I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
"I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress."
"Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution
to our biggest problem."
"The coffee machine is broken..."
"Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
You know you work
in Corporate America in the 90's if...
You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different
companies.
You worked for the same company for 4 years and sat at more than 10
different desks.
You've been in the same job for 4 years and have had 10 different
managers.
You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes.
When someone asks about what you do for a living, you can't explain it
in one sentence.
You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
You use acronyms in your sentences.
Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best
jokes.
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
It's dark when you drive to and from work.
Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
The word "opportunity" makes you shiver in fear.
You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home.
Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
Art involves a white board.
You're already late on the assignment you just got.
Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube and are read by your
co-workers only.
Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes" or "when
you're freed up".
You read this entire list and understood it.
After a 2 year study,
the National Science Foundation announced the following results on the
American Male's recreational preferences:
1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is:
basketball
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling.
3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: football.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf.
Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the
smaller your balls become.
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