 DIRTY BLONDE
JOKE'S
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Q.
What do you call 15 blonde's in a circle?
A. A dope ring.
Q.
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are
walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill.
Who picks it up?
A1. The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus,
the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
A2. None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth
Fairy or a smart blonde and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum
wrapper.
Q.
If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the
ground first?
A. The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Q.
What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
A. Her IQ goes up!
Q.
What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
A. A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.
Q.
What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A. Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.
Q.
What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date?
A. If you're not in bed by 12, come home.
Q.
What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A. Change.
Q.
How does a blonde moon walk?
A. She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!
Q.
What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
A. Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.
Q.
Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A. Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
Q.
Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle
in only 6 months?
A. Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q.
What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A. "Nice tits!"
Q.
How does a blonde high-5?
A. She smacks herself in the forehead.
Q.
How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q.
Why do blondes have legs?
A1. So they don't get stuck to the ground.
A2. To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A3. So they don't leave trails, like little snails.
Q.
How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A. Flattered.
Q.
Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A. They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
Q.
How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
A. A 69 interrupted by a period.
Q.
What's the difference between a blonde having her period and a
terrorist?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q.
Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A. She kept having affairs with men!
Q.
What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A. Spot.
Q.
What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A. A Space Invader.
Q.
What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A. The back of her head.
Q.
Why do blondes drive VW's?
A. Because they can't spell PORSCHE!
Q.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
A. Tell them a joke on Friday night!
Q.
Why did God create blondes?
A. Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q.
Why did God create brunettes?
A. Neither could the blondes.
Q.
Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1. So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2. So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going
to work or coming home.
Q.
Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A1. So brunettes can remember them.
A2. Because blondes are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.
A3. So men can understand them.
Q.
Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde?
A. She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children!
Q.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A1. A golden retriever.
A2. A labrador.
A3. An indicator of a really bad hangover.
Q.
Why are blondes hurt by people's words?
A. Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q.
Why do blondes have periods?
A. They deserve them.
Q.
What did the blonde do when she got her period?
A. Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?
Q.
How does a blonde hold her liquor?
A. By the ears.
Q.
How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A. You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q.
Why did the blonde try to steal a police car?
A. She saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.
Q.
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A. Last year's hide and seek champ.
Q.
What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly
pygmies?
A. One's a bunch a cunning runts.
Q.
What's the difference between a blonde and the Suez/Panama Canal?
A. One's a busy ditch.
Q.
What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
A. A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.
Q.
What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.
Q.
How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A. Tell her she's pregnant.
Q2. What will she ask you?
A2. "Is it mine?"
Q.
Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A. So her male would get delivered to the right box.
Q.
Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death
in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A. They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
Q.
What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?
A. She can't say "No".
Q.
What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican?
A. Retardo.
Q.
What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A. A visitor.
Q.
Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A. They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q.
Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A. Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q.
Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor?
A. She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.
Q.
What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
A. The Air Pump!
Q.
How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A. Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
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