 CLEAN
JOKE
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25 SIGNS THAT YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH
OF THE 90s
1. You just tried to enter your
password on the microwave.
2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of
three.
3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He
emails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"
4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa,
but
you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.
6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see
if
it contains Echinacea.
7. You check your blow-dryer to see if it's Y2K compliant.
8. Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send
her
a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
9. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see
if
anyone is home.
10. Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the
bottom of the screen.
11. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now
sells for half the price you paid.
12. The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to
make a purchase is foreign to you.
13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out
of the back seat of your car.
14. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do
not have e-mail addresses.
15. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
16. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
17. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes.
18. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
19. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.
20. You turn off your Modem and get this awful feeling, as if you
just
pulled the plug on a loved one.
21. You get up in morning and go online before getting your coffee.
22. You wake up at 2am to go to the bathroom and check your E-mail
on
your way back to bed.
23.You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)
24. You're reading this.
25. Even worse;
you're going to forward it to someone else.
Humor: Professional Test
The following short quiz
consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a
"professional". Scroll down for the answers after you have thought
about it. The questions are not that difficult.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and
close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple
things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator ?
Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close
the refrigerator.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in
the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think
through the repercussions of your actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals
attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator.
This tests your memory.
OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions, correctly
you still have one more chance to show your abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by
crocodiles. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending
the animal meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your
mistakes.
According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the
professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many
preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says
this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have
the brains of a four year old.
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